Charlottesville’s reminder of a need for dialogue | Opinion | heraldcourier.com

Did you know that Bristol, Tennessee, has a few Confederate monuments in East Hill Cemetery? That makes sense, given the fact that Bristol served as a hospital during the Civil

Source: Charlottesville’s reminder of a need for dialogue | Opinion | heraldcourier.com

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Dance, Dance Fever!

perfect-parentThis morning, like most mornings, I found myself in the drop-off line at my son’s elementary school. Normally, he and I share light conversation, that’s the best I can muster until the life-giving nectar of coffee permeates my brain. As we wait our turn in line, I do what most drivers do, check my rear view mirrors. Most of the time I catch a glimpse of every other bleary eyed parent, but not today. Today I was treated to a site that made me smile.

In the mini-van behind me a mom transformed her kids mundane, Monday morning routine into Dance, Dance-Fever! Though I could not hear the music I caught the rhythm as she danced behind the steering wheel, which was both a drum and a micro-phone. She was all into the music and so were her kids. Seated in the van’s midsection her daughter followed her mother’s uninhibited motions, beaming her nearly toothless, first-grader smile. Even the shot-gun riding, stoic son, let his head sway.

I have no idea if that’s a daily routine. Chances are good their mornings are like most families: sleepy kids who can’t find a shoe, pets that needed to go out – but not any longer, breakfast and lunch prepared at the same time (why’d I put eggs in a Ziploc bag?). But for a few minutes, before school started, a mom in a mini-van created a little laughter and a lot of fun.

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She looked crazy. She did not look like she had it all together. No one in that mini-van was concerned about what the folks in the other cars were thinking (and they were looking). Her kids were loving it and so was she!

Most parents that I know put a lot of pressure on themselves. We want to love our kids well and by that I mean we want to be the perfect parent. We want to be the parent that is never frustrated, always on top of every detail, able to dispense wisdom and cash.What’s more, we want others to think of us as the perfect parent.

But maybe parental perfection looks more like a crazy mom dancing in a van with the kids. Maybe the perfect parent is one that is a little more human, true to themselves, less concerned with others, and way more into having some fun. Sometimes we need a little Dance, Dance Fever! in the drop-off line. Sometimes we need to surprise our kids and ourselves, create moments of laughter and fun, in the most mundane places. Way to go mom!!

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When Moon Goes to Sleep

yawning moon

When Moon Goes to Sleep©
By Mark A. Hutton

I can tell from your yawn,
You are sleepy and tired.
Time for bed.
Time for sweet dreams from Moon’s beams.

What’s that you say?
It’s not bed time yet?
Don’t you know?
Moon can’t sleep until you’re rested?

Moon gets sleepy too.
He’s up shining all night.
That’s how we get sweet dreams,
They travel down Moon’s beams.

Don’t wait any longer.
Climb into that bed.
Lay down your head,
I see Moon’s beams.

But, when morning comes,
And Moon goes to sleep,
Will you tell me what you dreamed?

Were there castles and knights?
Did dragons really fly?
Did the king and queen look like you and me?

When Moon goes to sleep,
Will you tell me what you dreamed?

Were there ships sailing the sea?
Did their sails huff and puff?
Did you save the day and find safe harbor?

When Moon goes to sleep,
Will you tell me what you dreamed?

Did you take a rocket to Saturn?
Did you wear one of the rings?
Or did you walk among the clouds
And simply make it rain?

Sleep now little one.
Let Moon’s beams shine on you,
And bring you sweet dreams.
And when Moon goes to sleep
You can tell me all you dreamed.

sleepy-moon-s-vagabond

Changing

Changing

Amid all the seasonal hoopla there is a small, but growing, theme that is emerging. It, like all the other seasonal appeals, happens every year. Turn on a radio and listen for a few minutes and you’ll hear an ad for a gym, new diet, or supplement that will “dramatically change your life in 2014.” Change is in the air – perhaps.

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The truth of the matter is that change isn’t easy and most people really do not want it. Evidence for that is the fact that every year we hear the same message and we make similar resolutions. In fact one study showed that 90% of people that went through coronary by-pass did not change their behavior but went back to the same habits that WH Audenwere killing them. W.H. Auden had a point; he said people would rather face ruin than change.

Change of any kind takes sacrifice, commitment, and desire. It also requires people to deal with pain (related to loss of something), fear, conflict, and a willingness to disappoint people (when you no longer go out for a smoke or order a salad instead of a burger). But change is necessary in all of our lives – nothing stays the same. It is a sad thing to say to someone, “You haven’t changed a bit.” Quotes_about_Change_QuotesAboutChange02

A few days ago a friend of mine related an experience. During a leadership conference he was asked a question that has stayed with him. The question was simply, “What will happen if you do not change?”

Think of that question for a moment. What will happen if you do not change your bad habits? What will happen if you do not start taking better care of yourself? What will happen if you do not start doing a better job at work? What will happen if you do not start moving toward your spouse – loving him/her better? What will happen if you do not forgive?

Just asking the question is a step in the right direction. Honest reflection is important but it isn’t enough to just be self-aware. We need to be “self-active” as well.  Put those two things together and real, significant, life long changes can occur – way more than a new diet or gym membership.

???????????????????One tip that I think may prove helpful in not only answering the question but also making change is found in the word tweak. In a recent NPR: TED Radio Hour,Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist, said, “Small tweaks can lead to big change.” If you are so inclined to try and answer the question, “what will happen if I do not change?” then you may want to think about making small tweaks as you wrestle thru the beneficial, but also tough parts, of making significant changes to your life.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!